The Silence
by blueeyedfreak62
Summary: This is based off of the song The Silence by Mayday Parade. Leah is always hurting at night, imagining Sam coming for her. What happens when he finally does?


Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A/N: I based this off of The Silence By Mayday Parade. It describes Leah and Sam really well.

Torn in two, she lies awake The moon lights up, the room like day Another night she spends alone Without his touch, her skin so cold I shivered as I stared up at the moon. Sam had always told me he'd captured the moon just to give it to me. Guess that wasn't ever going to happen, was it? I stood, taking a deep breath and slowly running my hand down the window and I felt my heart hurting so much. I hated being alone at night with nothing to do. It always let the hole break open and my life seem meaningless. I was careful not to think about my nights when I was in wolf form. I didn't need the pack telling me to shut up, especially Sam. Why had he become so cold to me? I didn't understand it. So many times he told me he loved me and now… It seemed like it didn't matter, like it never mattered. Did it even happen? It had been so long ago… I'm starting to forget the details. The sadness is a fog cloud covering up my happiness. Or maybe it'd be better to say that the smoke from my burning heart was finally killing my brain cells, taking my memories.

There was a light knock at the door and I didn't bother turning around. It was probably Seth telling me it was time for me to run patrol. Yeah, cause that's what I want. Like it even matters.

"Leah?" a deep voice asked that was not Seth. My breath caught in my throat, threatening to take all my oxygen if I turned around. I didn't care. I needed to make sure I wasn't crazy. I needed to make sure he was actually here. I turned slowly around and he smiles weakly from his spot in the doorway and I felt tears attack my eyes. I shook my head, closing my eyes.

"Stop it, Leah. You're going crazy," I snapped at myself and when I finally opened my eyes he was still there. I backed up, not wanting a battle with Sam tonight again. I fought with him constantly, only because I loved him so much that I felt like fighting him would be fighting to have him.

The blood that's running through her veins With every beat there's no escape

_Lost in everything she trusts_

_Still can't seem to get enough_

I sucked in his image. He was so handsome, especially when he wasn't wearing a shirt. He must've just been running the night run, his shift at least. My pulse sped up, pounding in my ears and I back up against the wall, shaking my head.

"You're not here!" I screamed, tears threatening to fall. I was a big girl. I didn't need to cry, not now, not here, not ever. I didn't want to cry over him again. Not again. Oh, please, not again. Have mercy.

"Leah…" his perfect voice told me and took a step towards me. I balled my fists, turning my head to the side so I didn't have to see him. I tightly held my eyes closed and I heard him take a step towards me.

"Leave me alone! You're not here!" I screamed. I had imagined him so many times before and this was just another illusion. It was killing me, breaking my heart.

Even though the world she loves

_It won't ever be the way it was_

_And his heart of stone left hers breaking_

"Leah! Open your eyes! I'm standing in front of!" he shouted and I shook my head. The illusions had said that as well and I had always believed them. But I didn't believe them now.

"No you're not! Go away!" I exclaimed and I heard a sharp breath get sucked in. The illusions had never done that but I didn't care. It was just another illusion.

"Leah, look at me! I'm right here!" Sam yelled at me and I screamed. These were the nights I wished Mom had come home early from Billy's and that Seth didn't have patrol. They would've saved me from this pain.

"I'm just imagining you… I'M ALWAYS IMAGINING YOU!" I screamed, finally staring up at him.

Every night she cries

_And dies a little more each time_

_Say you love me, (you love me)_

Tears escaped my eyes and I didn't care. It didn't matter. Who else saw this illusion? No one. So whom could this illusion tell? No one.

"Leah…" he muttered and I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms on top of them and crying into my arms. I didn't want to be here. I now wish I was patrolling. Though, full moons were always hard on me, even if I was patrolling. All I thought about was him… his touches… his kisses… his love…

I heard a thump on the ground and felt a warm hand on my arm. The warmth startled me. My illusions never had tried to touch me before. I slowly looked up at Sam and I could see the pain in his eyes.

"S-Sam?" I stuttered and he nodded slowly, making more tears fall out and pour down my cheeks. He wiped them away and I shoved him back, standing up and heading back over to the window.

Nothing left inside

_Say you love me_

_And the silence will set her free_

"Leah?" Sam asked from behind me. His voice sounded strained.

"Why are you here?" I snapped and I looked over my shoulder, hoping it hurt him. I wiped the rest of my tears away and stared up at the moon. We both knew why he was here.

"It's your patrolling time," he told me and I chuckled fakely, turning around to face him. I could see his fists balled at his sides and I giggled, trying to fight the tears and ended up just making me pour out more.

"Liar. You could've sent Seth," I snapped and he took a step towards me. "Say it. Just say it, Sam."

"I-I-I-" Sam stuttered and I growled.

"SAY IT! GODDAMIT! JUST SAY IT, SAM!" I screamed and he looked down at the ground. His shoulders moved up and down.

"I-I love you, L-leah," he stuttered and I noticed a tear fall to the ground.

Memories they take her back

_Every moment fades to black_

_Every kiss and every taste_

_She wishes time would ease the pain_

"Leah! It's not really that cold!" Sam shouted to me. I dipped my toe into the water and giggled, shaking my head.

"**It's freezing, Sammy!" I exclaimed and he chuckled, walking towards me. I screamed as he threw me over his shoulder and I tried to fight him. He laughed and then set me down, kissing my lips. "Why did you bring me out here?"**

"**I love Emily," he told me and I felt my heart breaking.**

I screamed as loud as I could. I didn't want to remember memories like that. Sam had his arms around me in a second and I shook my head quickly, shoving him back. He looked hurt but I didn't care at the second. I wanted to be loved, not comforted. I wanted him to _love_ me, not _comfort_ me.

"Go away!" I screamed, trying to convince myself that he was just an illusion again. He had to be. Sam wouldn't say he loved me anymore.

"Leah! I'm real!" he yelled and I screamed again, shaking my head. I collapsed to the ground, my face in my hands, and my back against the wall.

"No! Sam doesn't love me! He wouldn't say it!" I shouted, shaking my head and there was a thud in front of me. Warmth wrapped into a ring around my wrist and yanked it to a warmth spot. I opened my eyes to see Sam's brilliant brown eyes staring at me, making me shiver.

"Do you feel that, Leah?" I stopped to feel what he was talking about. There was a few thumps and I stared up at Sam, confused.

Even though the world she loves

_It won't ever be the way it was_

_And her heart is weak_

_Her hands are shaking_

"A-a heartbeat," I murmured and he nodded, anger filling his once sad eyes.

"Yes, a heartbeat. Your illusions don't have heartbeats. They also don't have the warmth that I have," he told me and I shook my head quickly.

"You don't know that," I snapped, trying not to cry. I knew he was right.

"I do know that, Leah! I've had illusions about you myself! I've imagined being able to hold you, kiss you, everything…" he said caringly, making a shiver travel up my spine and he gave a weak smile. "Leah, it's Sam. It's me."

Every night she cries

_And dies a little more each time_

_Say you love me, (you love me)_

Nothing left inside

_Say you love me_

_And the silence will set her free_

"Sam!" I cried, launching my arms around his neck, gripping him tightly to me. He tightened his grip on me as we thudded against the ground.

"I love you, Leah. I always have," he told me and that got the waterworks going. I sniffled, staring down at him and a tear fell onto his cheek from my face.

"How? T-the imprint…" I told him, my hands shaking and my jaw quivering. My breathing was staggered and it started hurting but I couldn't stop it.

"Yea, I imprinted. But I still do love you, Leah," Sam told me and I felt my whole body begin to quiver. His warm hands held my waist and held me still. I stared down at him and I smiled weakly.

And every night she cries!

"Sam…" I mustered out and he smiled, sitting up and pulling me into his lap. The tears fell faster and he held me tightly into his chest. I gripped his shirt, yanking him as close as possible.

I don't know if I'll ever make this right

_Cause I am just so broken_

_By the bitterness or loneliness_

_And I'm so scared of this_

"Leah, I can't change the imprint but it's like I imprinted on you so long ago," he told me and I cried harder into his chest. His hands rubbed my back as my shoulders went up and back down. I made very little noise.

"I don't want to be alone, Sam! I don't want it to be like this!" I cried, staring up into his eyes and he chewed his lower lip. I shivered from fear that he would leave me alone tonight. I didn't want to be alone again, without him, without his warmth.

"Leah… I look up at full moons and I wonder how I can give you the moon even when we can't be together," Sam mentioned, pushing my chin up so I totally looked up at him and I could feel him lean in. I swallowed, my heart pounding. I didn't want to hurt anymore. His kiss would make everything better.

I don't know if I'll ever make this right

_Cause I am just so broken_

_By the bitterness or loneliness_

_And I'm so scared of this_

I felt my heart just break in other spots and heal in the old ones. Sam was very gentle with me but I wasn't gentle with him. I was gripping his shirt tightly and he slowly pulled away, wiping away the tears on my cheeks. I noticed a wet streak down his cheek and that made me cry even more. He was hurting just as much as me.

Even though the world she loves

_It won't ever be the way it was_

_And his heart of stone left hers breaking_

"I have to leave, Leah," Sam told me and I shook my head, pulling him close to me. He slowly unraveled my fingers and stood. I was paralyzed, sitting on the ground. He walked to the door and looked down at my torn figure.

"Please, Sam. Stay for me," I begged and he shook his head, his hand on the doorframe as he turned his back to me.

"I love you so much, Leah. Don't forget that." Those were his last words before he ran off down the hallway.

Every night she cries

_And dies a little more each time_

_Say you love me, (you love me)_

Nothing left inside

_Say you love me_

_And the silence will set her free_

"No! No! No!" I screamed, slamming my fists against the ground. I stood quickly, shoving everything off of my desk. Then I went for my dresser and shoved everything. Glass broke and flew everywhere. Water splattered from the water globes that crashed to the ground. I fell to my knees, glass digging into my knees.

"Sam…" I breathed as I slowly picked up a water globe that had a wolf frozen in running position. There wasn't glass anymore and there wasn't water because there wasn't glass. I felt my heart snapping more. Sam had given it to me for my sixteenth birthday. And now it was broken.

Every night she cries!

_Every night she cries!_

_The silence will set her free!_

I launched the globe across the room and cringed as it flew through my window. Moonlight shined all over the glass and flickered over to me. I felt my heart breaking as I saw the full moon in a reflection on a large piece of glass.

"I LOVE YOU!" I screamed. "I love you, Sam. And you just left me."

I held my sides and cried and cried and cried.


End file.
